“Finding it hard to get up on a morning? Here are ten tracks of all genres to ensure that never happens again!”
To quote a popular Tumblr fandom dictum – Winter Is Coming. And with it come the dark mornings, the rain, and the seeming impossibility of getting out of bed. The later in the year it gets the more appealing your duvet becomes, and starting the day becomes a mountain-esque peak struggle of first world problems…
But worry not! During my time fending off the greyness of Britain I have learnt a few tips and tricks for leaving sleepiness behind, the chief one being music. The right soundtrack can shock, coax or have you dancing out of bed, and I have some of the best tunes to help you do just that. I’ve tried to cover a few bases when it comes to genre, but feel free to leave your best wake-up songs in the comments.
1) For The Politicals
If you’re a left-leaning radical whose day consists of combatting fascism head on and spreading the socialist gospel, then there’s only one song with which to start your day. Actually there’s a few, and knowing me I’ll probably make another blog post about it, but without question the best working class anthem has only one form and that’s Obey The Whips by Max Raptor. Does what is says on the tin really.
2) For The Broadway Babies
Life isn’t a musical, but sometimes the only way to get up is to pretend it is. There are so many suggestions that would work for this category (hint: there’s enough to make an entirely separate post!) but I refuse to cave and suggest Hairspray, Singing In The Rain or even, god forbid, Shrek The Musical. No, theatre fans are just as sarcastic and post-modernist as everybody else, and so there’s really only one choice for a catchy upbeat melody and honest lyrics: It Sucks To Be Me from Avenue Q. After-all, things could be worse!
3) For The Introverts
If there’s any group that need the motivation to get out of bed and face the day, it’s the introverts. They need a song that’s relatable enough to be comforting but lively enough to give them the courage to take part, and unfortunately there really aren’t all that many of those about. Thankfully the day is saved by Andrew Jackson Jihad‘s classic Self-Esteem, it probably won’t stop you hating social interaction but at least now you have an excuse to put in your headphones and hope everyone goes away!
4) For The Drag Queens
Drag queens are busy people. Many of them are still werking up to being full-time performers, and even those at the top of their game still have to balance slaying the stage with rhinestoning, endless social media, and prepping wigs/nails/costumes/pads. Undisputedly after a hard gig it can be hard to find the will to get up and there sure are plenty of drag classics to help them, but I can only choose one. It might start slow, it might not have Ru Paul‘s pop-appeal, but the opening chords are sure to remind any diva why they do what they do. The one, the only, Wig In A Box from Hedwig And The Angry Inch. Now prance!
5) For The Pop Punk Kids
You might want to get out of your town, but you have to get out of bed first. If you’re waking up covered in bruises from mosh pits or keep finding long lost pizza slices in the tour bus, this one’s for you. Here’s to.. uh.. misunderstanding parents and skateboards and hating Trace Cyrus, it’s time to get up and tick another day off your countdown to Warped Tour calendar. There’s only one option really, and that’s I’m Made Of Wax Larry, What Are You Made Of? by A Day To Remember. Now angst!
6) For The Starving Artists
So you’re an intellectual, and as such Dolly Parton really isn’t going to cut it for you. You’ve made suffering into an art form and you’ve probably got the kind of job that lacks the structure or office hours to force you awake. Nevertheless a creator’s work is never done, so when you tumble off your mattress at 3PM you’re going to need some music to do it to. Preferably something that matches perfectly your unique brand of wistful pessimism, like Tim Minchin‘s Some People Have It Worse. Enjoy… or try to.
7) For The Pirates
I can’t lie to you, I just really needed an excuse to put this one in somewhere. I know it’s not a common demographic and we don’t all have to wake up and tackle another day of scurvy and chasing gold coins, but this song is perhaps the best wake-up one I’ve got. You just can’t be miserable while it’s playing but I dare you to try, it’s Keelhauled by Alestorm. For all your nautical needs.
8) For The Emo Trash
I should probably say I don’t mean that as an insult. Being emo trash takes a lot of effort, it’s a 24/7 job from hell made of flower crowns and punk edits and pre-hiatus pictures of Pete Wentz. You guys have my respect, and you deserve the best morning possible as you prepare for another long day of tears and fanfiction torture. Though you are free to substitute my suggestion with something of your own fave’s work (or just a vine compilation of Tyler Joseph’s antics) I don’t think you can get any better than The Cab‘s One Of Those Nights. I mean, it has Brendon Urieand Patrick Stump. What more could you want?
9) For The Freaks
For the guys, gals and non binary individuals that just can’t wait for Halloween, that dress a little bit differently and watch films most people haven’t even heard of. Now, this kind of could have been in the drag queen category, but trust the queen of scream to deliver a track that resonates with witches everywhere. This is perfect for those days when you’re aesthetic is just a little bit risky and you need an extra shot of venom to deal with the curious looks of those not quite into Halloween chic. It’s Dressed To Kill by Sharon Needles, enjoy.
10) For Literally Everyone
This is a universal. Everybody likes to feel confident, and particularly on a morning feeling good can be the difference between a good day and a bad day. Not only is this track good for waking up to, it’s also good for picking an outfit, commuting, eating breakfast, and walking into the office like you’re Renee Zellweger and Sarah Paulson entering a restaurant in Down With Love. I implore you, check out Amazing by Hi Fashion… You’ll thank me later.
So that’s it! Let me know down below if you have a different song that never fails to wake you up, and feel free to share article around like a canapé at a fancy dinner party. Oh, and as always: